Losing my Harry Potter virginity #5: The Order of the Phoenix

“Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix” by J. K. Rowling. Published by Bloomsbury in 2013 (originally 2003).

English version below

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Nej, nej og nej! Nej.

Af mangel på ord, ser jeg mig nødsaget til at benytte en alternativ tilgang i denne HP-virginity-kommentar. Lad mig gå direkte til sagen og præsentere et udsnit af de nedskriblede blyantsnoter, som udfylder margenerne på en god del af bogens 766 sider (ja, jeg skriver i mine bøger – men den diskussion fortjener sit eget indlæg).

Side 12:
“Tænk hvis der ikke fandtes magi, men Harry i virkeligheden var blevet sindssyg og i sit hoved havde opfundet et magisk univers, hvor han var et lovprist vidunderbarn, som en flugt fra sin forfærdelige tilværelse hos the Dursleys?” (Ja, det var lidt en afstikker tidligt i processen, men syntes det var en interessant tanke).

Side 64:
“Wtf, Harry P!? Sker der for, at H og R finder sig i hans shit?”

Side 65:
“Fuck (!!!) han pisser mig af. Kællinge-attitude.”

Side 86:
“Don’t be a bitch, Harry!”

Side 151:
“Harry-freaking-wonderboy”

Side 439:
“Det er virkelig en bog af dårlig stemning, den her.”

Side 562:
“Tanke: Det ville være forfriskende for bøgerne med skiftende perspektiver – så ville man måske heller ikke blive så skide træt af Harry hele tiden.”

Side 613:
“UGH! Kæmper er kedelige. Get on with it!”

Det virker overflødigt at nævne, at jeg ikke var begejstret. Harry er hellig og næsvis og selvoptaget og dumdristig og en virkelig dårlig ven. Bogen er tåbeligt og unødvendigt lang. Den er hul – på grænsen til at kunne springes over. Til gengæld ligger den på en delt førsteplads med etteren i konkurrencen om flotteste cover-farvekombination, så lidt har den da kørende for sig. Og det var alt, jeg havde at sige om den sag. So long og vi ses ved nummer seks!

No, no and no! No.

In a lack of words, I feel compelled to take an alternative approach in this HP virginity comment. Let me get straight to the point and present a sampling of the written pencil notes that fills the margins of a good part of the book’s 766 pages (yes, I write in my books – but that’s a discussion for another post).

Page 12:
“Imagine if there was no magic, but Harry was actually insane and in his head had invented a magical universe in which he was a glorified child prodigy, as an escape from his horrible life at the Dursleys?” (Yes, it was a bit a side trip early in the process, but I felt it was an interesting thought).

Page 64:
“Wtf, Harry P!? What’s up with H and R taking his shit?”

Page 65:
“Fuck (!!!) he pisses me off. Bitch attitude.”

Page 86:
“Do not be a bitch, Harry!”

Page 151:
“Harry-freaking-wonderboy”

Page 439:
“It really is a book of bad mood this one.”

Page 562:
“Thought: It would be refreshing for the books with changing perspectives – then one would perhaps not be so fucking sick of Harry all the time.”

Page 613:
“UGH! Giants are boring. Get on with it!”

It seems redundant to mention that I wasn’t thrilled. Harry is snotty and smug and self-centered and reckless and a really bad friend. The book is foolishly and unnecessarily long. It is hollow and borderline skipable. On the other hand it shares a first place with book one in the competition for best looking cover color combination, so it’s got that going for it which is nice. And that was all I had to say on the matter. So long and see you at number six!